The Universe Wants to Show Me the Damn Milky Way and I'm Settling for a Few Stars Peeking Through a Light Polluted Orange Tinted Sky
The other day I realized something crazy I've been doing my whole life.
On the morning of that day, a series of minor but obnoxious things went wrong and I decided the whole day was shot. I was surely in for a bad day, not just a bad morning. You know those days - you overslept, stubbed your toe on the bed, got toothpaste on your shirt and then leaned against a wet counter for good measure, forgot your cellphone at home, missed the train by three seconds and had to let the people you're having a meeting with know that you're going to be late...that kind of morning. At some point on days like this, my mood inevitably sours and I prepare for more things to go wrong. And by doing so I basically invite them in. Or dare them in. It often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes I can shake off the feeling off the bad day, other times I continue to fan the flames of my mental dumpster fire - consciously or subconsciously. Regardless, more minutes [hours] of my day than necessary were spent with a cloud over me....all because of these dumb things from the recent past that were still under the surface of my current mood.
The other day as I could feel myself losing my patience, I realized that I was letting these minor things that had already happened (and had finished happening within a matter of a few seconds or minutes) impact thousands more seconds and hundreds more minutes of my life. This was my chosen flavor of crazy.
But then I had another thought before the downward spiral began.
I started thinking about how much time I spend seeking out a few moments of pleasure on any random day. And how much money. I could easily drop $200 on a relaxing trip to the spa, $50 for a night of laughs at the theatre, or $10 for a few minutes of tastebud bliss from a chocolate cake slice. The list goes on. What I wouldn't pay for a few minutes of happiness. And how quickly that happiness fades as I swallow the last bite, the curtain goes down and the massage therapist lets me know the 60 minutes of pampering has come to an end. And yet, here I was letting a few seconds or, at most, a few minutes of inconvenience and minor suffering cause me a hundred times the suffering it needed to.
I believe God and His Infinite Universe want me to move fluidly throughout my day, not stuck on grievances big or small of the past. To move freely, be present and to find joy with what's in front of me. There is a whole universe out there packed so full of stars and wonders that the human mind can't even fathom them all. An entire Milky Way to be seen. And more. So much more. Layers upon layers of beauty and goodness and wonder and awe. And here I am walking around under an orange tinted cloudy night sky, flooded by the city lights, looking for a one or two stars to peak through. A few moments of utmost joy and bliss. Those few stars I am able to spot are great - those few moments of intentional joy I work to find - make no mistake. BUT what if there were millions more stars to be seen above the cloud cover and away from the city lights? What if there were just as many joyful and awe inspiring moments to be had throughout the day if I could only get to a place where I could see them? Or even a fraction of them? What if I didn't have to scan the whole sky to find some stars but rather the sky itself were made up of stars?
What more is possible for our lives than we can currently imagine?